When I was a child, I had anxiety pretty badly. I’m the type of person who worries about absolutely everything, and even as a little girl I always worried about things that could happen, or might happen, and what to do if they happened.
In Year 3, we were shown a video about fire safety. After that, for months (or maybe it was years), I’d wake up in the middle of the night, smelling and seeing imaginary smoke, and had to check the entire house for fire before I could go back to sleep.
Even now, I get night terrors.
I used to get stomach pains, too, and eventually, my mother took me to the hospital to see if there was something wrong physically. Whenever I had a panic attack, sometimes coupled with hallucinations, she and Clarky, her best friend, would say to me in this sing-song way, “dooooooon’t panic.” Anxiety, or whatever it was, was never considered or diagnosed, so I never took any medication for it.
I’ve no idea if I have anxiety now, but I still worry about e v e r y t h i n g.
I also read a lot as a kid. I was extremely shy, so I didn’t go to friends’ houses that much, instead mostly playing video games and watching TV with my brother or reading. I read a lot of books as a kid (though looking back, I wish I’d read more). Now, I try to read as much as I can, purchasing paperbacks and hardbacks rather than ebooks. Now the stress of adult life can get to all of us, and I find the only thing that keeps it at bay is reading.
It takes around an hour to get to work by train, and I often take a book to read during the commute. Getting into a good story helps push the worries of work, money, and health to the background. Video games and movies can’t do this as easily because they don’t require as much concentration, and it’s easy for your mind to wander. But few things make me happier than finding a great story to read on the train.
Even when I arrive at my station and I have to put the book away, I’m still thinking about the story, what’ll happen next, and enjoying the afterglow of reading in general. It makes my own worries feel smaller, reminding me that there’s a world out there beyond my own worry bubble.
If you or someone you know has anxiety, encourage them to read! In a generation of smartphones, Netflix, and social media, it’s not easy to crack open a book. But I can promise that diving into a novel you love will help, even if it’s just a little bit.